Why do you fall asleep after sex?

1. Why do you fall asleep after sex?
To escape the inevitable questions that arise: "Do you love me?" "Am I pretty?" "Can I have $300 so my aunt can have an operation?"


No one needs an interrogation when his body has just performed a feat of stunning humanity. You see, powerful hypnotic brain drugs are released during orgasm: good shit like endorphins, oxytocin, and prolactin (or, as they're known on the street, Sleepy, Dopey, and Kim Jong Il).

Men produce more of these neurochemicals than women and also tend to exert themselves more during sex, usually doing most of the heavy lifting, thus leaving the woman free to close her eyes and fantasize about England.

2. I haven't been with many women.. but my new girlfriend's labia seem really different. They're huge. Is this common?
Allow me to interrupt for one moment. As your sexual counsel, I must advise you not to admit that in the press again.

Not today, but many millions of hundreds of years ago, women like your girlfriend were prized for their large, strapping labia, which made it easier for them to navigate through rough river currents during Flapulus, a sort of primitive wake-boarding sport played by kings. And we all owe a debt to the brave, brawny-lipped women who aided the resistance movement by relaying covert semaphore messages to the Allies. But things have changed a lot since then. Your repulsion at the sight of her may be spurred by the female genitalia you've no doubt seen in your precious porn. However, not all current women look that way, and not all those who do arrive at it naturally.

Dr. Scott M. Gulinson, of the Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute of Phoenix, says his patients routinely bring in magazine pictures of their ideal vulvas and, after having the picture turned right-side up for them, often choose to undergo labiaplasty -- a newish procedure for the very spiffy, wherein the inner labia are made smaller, more symmetrical, more aerodynamic, and much, much better. And while the rest of us marvel at how gentle Homo sapiens is slowly giving way to newer, sleeker strains of primate (I speak specifically of Homo electivus surgerius, dubbed "Van Nuys Woman," whose fossilized remains date back to A.D. 1984), some people are unhappy. Sexologist Betty Dodson is one of them. "They trim off their beautiful petals," she says, "so they'll have what they call the clamshell look, which is very prepubescent." And superhot for spring!

Now, labiaplasty shouldn't be performed on your girlfriend unless she's truly ashamed of herself. And there is perhaps another way. "We need to reach women in grade school!" pleads Dodson. "We need to let them see the variety out there so they won't feel like this! As an owner of large inner lips" -- and this is where my correspondence with Betty unfortunately broke off. But if you'd like to get involved in the Grade School Women Labia Acceptance Movement, write your congressman.

3. My wife and I love each other, but we just don't have a great sex life anymore. Is it actually possible to reinvigorate a stale sexual relationship, or is that just therapist nonsense?
Say what you will about therapy, but at the risk of sounding glib, I'll admit that my thrice-weekly angel-guided rebirthing sessions are really starting to kick in, and I barely mind being in the trash bag anymore. Therapists and therapy experts alike recommend solving any big problems first. Sex therapist Stephanie Buehler believes that once couples halt "the repeated trips to rehab, gambling, and domestic violence, then there is room for love to grow like a rose." (She didn't say what color rose.) Then maybe attempt some open, honest, slightly icky sex talk with your wife. "We suggest that people begin to have those conversations in nonsexual settings," says Pala Copeland, who, along with her partner, Al, runs a tantric-sex thing at their home in Ottawa. Any nonsexual setting will do; it needn't be a Minnesota airport or even a public men's room, for that matter. Or why not join Pala, Al, and some of the other tantra-heads for a group encounter? "We show video clips," she says. "There are periods of intercourse interspersed with periods of cuddling and holding, or feeding each other something, or kissing, or oral sex, or manual stimulation." Which is all super, but I come for the live lute shows and nightly smoothie specials. Anyway, everyone seems to agree that it's best to relax during sex and not focus on orgasms, unless you want to have orgasms, in which case, you may have to rub them out for yourself a while longer.(Stacey Grenrock Woods; esquire.com)

How to flirt online and get a date..!

10 questions to get sparks flying

By Liz H. Kelly

What can you say in an email or instant message (IM) to entice someone to get to coffee talk? You are trying to get to the first date level. So what are the tricks to flirting online?Three keys to online flirting success:

1. Humor is your ally. A 35-year-old male film editor told me, "It depends on the person. You need to be able to read the person to tell what kind of humor you can get away with.

Humor is definitely sexy

Humor is definitely sexy, and so is confidence because girls pick that up."

2. Keep it simple. Use light-hearted emails or IMs with an upbeat tone to attract dates online. A 40-something female painter shared, "Make your responses simple and use easy questions in your messages to flirt." There is no need for long emails or IMs either. A 42-year-old accountant told me, "I can tell if I am interested in three or four sentences."

3. Hand out compliments. One of the best ways to flirt online is to extend a sincere compliment.

One guy told me, "I always try to say something subtle but sincere." You might say to someone who plays the piano, "I think it is awesome that you play piano." He added, "Be sincere and don't throw out phony baloney."

10 IM or email flirting questions

Based on interviews with hundreds of active daters for my book, "SMART Man Hunting," here are 10 proven questions that can help you ignite sparks online:

1. Where did you get that fantastic smile?

2. What is your favorite ice cream flavor and why?

3. What is the most romantic place that you've been on a date?

4. What would you do if we got stuck in a snow storm in the mountains?

5. If you were going to take me out for a romantic evening, what would we do?

6. What is your favorite thing to do with a partner for fun?

7. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?

8. How long have you played guitar? (Ask about something in their profile.)

9. Wow, is that your cute golden retriever? (Compliment something in their photograph.)

10. When are we going to meet to find out whether we would ever want to kiss each other? (Depending on the person, you can sound cute using this one)

Have some fun -- use humor and good will. Keep it simple when you're using these email flirting questions. You will have better luck using levity and sincere compliments online.

How to attract and keep 'Mr. Right'

An Open Letter To A Woman Who Wants To ATTRACT And KEEP Mr. Right...

Dear Friend,

I'd like to ask you a few questions. Be open and honest with yourself as you answer them...

Have you ever met a guy who seemed to be "Mr. Right", but after getting to know him better you could tell that he just didn't feel that same level of "connection" you felt?

You were attracted to him, but he just wasn't into you the same way you were into him?

In your mind, you could sense what a great guy he was, and that, somewhere deep inside, you both shared this strong "chemistry" that made you feel close and comfortable. But for some reason he didn't want to truly connect with you.

Another one...

Have you ever slept with a guy very quickly after meeting him, but as it started to happen you got that sinking feeling in your stomach? You knew it was a mistake, but you did it anyway. And then the thing you KNEW would happen actually happened: He unexplainably disappeared from your life. Honestly, have you ever had this happen?

Of course, the worst part wasn't that it happened, but that you KNEW you shouldn't have done it in the first place... but you did it anyway.

And finally:

Have you ever dated a great guy for a long time... I'm talking about six months, twelve months, or even longer... and it was getting to the point where you needed to have "the talk" with him. But when you tried to bring up the topic of having a relationship and making a bigger commitment, his eyes just glazed over... and then he became distant from you... and the relationship ended soon after?

You were trying to get CLOSER to him, and somehow he kept moving farther AWAY from you.

I'm guessing that when one of these things happened, your girlfriends said things like:

"He's just a jerk, forget about him".

Or they said: "He doesn't see the mistake he's making or what he'll be missing". But he never seemed to see these mistakes... or even miss you.

And the worst part of all: You kept thinking about it.

In fact, it really GOT TO YOU. And I'll bet the REASON why it got to you is because you worried that it might have been something to do with YOU (and not just because he was a total jerk).

In fact, TO THIS DAY you still have the feeling that YOU may have done something wrong, and that you may have CAUSED some of the problems in the first place... and if you would have known the RIGHT thing to do, things would have turned out differently...

Unfortunately, the bad news is that you're probably right.

Chances are you DID have something to do with it, and things probably WOULD have turned out differently if you would have known how to deal with the situation.

You COULD have done something about it... if only you had known WHAT to do...

The Secret To Attracting And Keeping
A Great Guy...


The main PROBLEM here, and the thing that stood in your way, is that men aren't easy to understand. And when you find a good man, he doesn't come with an "instruction manual".

Just because your girlfriends told you it wasn't your fault, or that he was just "a jerk", doesn't mean that they understood the problem (or that they understand men at all, for that matter).

Most women don't "get" men. Your friends who try to comfort and encourage you have good intentions. They're just trying to make you feel better.

But they're also accidentally making the situation WORSE.

They're trying to blame the situation on HIM, instead of trying to help YOU understand how to KEEP a great guy around.

This situation is MOST dangerous when you meet a really GREAT GUY, but you don't know how to catch him or keep him. Let's face it, great guys are hard to find... and when you do find one, you can't afford to lose him because you made a dumb mistake.

You can't afford to throw away a good six months, a year... or even LONGER... and risk losing what could be a valuable relationship... just because you didn't know how to handle a particular situation.

Well, there is some good news here... I personally believe that there IS something you can do about it.

You CAN learn how to understand men and get them to be open up and understand you. You can learn how to CATCH that great guy, and how to KEEP him.

And how do I know this?

Because I AM a guy. And I've been in all the situations I just mentioned to you... from the OTHER side.

I've seen it from a man's perspective. I've been in those difficult "places" in dating, relationships, and love.

After years and years of experiencing these types of situations and hearing about them from my female friends, I decided to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT...

I spent well over a year carefully documenting and writing about my experiences. I spent much of that time researching, interviewing women, and working out all the ways a woman can get what she wants out of a relationship without scaring off the man she loves... and without letting any of those confusing "guy issues" get in the way.

Here's what I discovered:

The 3 Deadly Mistakes Women Make With Men Without EVER Realizing It...

Through my research and personal experience, I've found that these 3 mistakes are responsible for more failed dates and relationships with men than any other factors. Here they are:

» Mistake #1: Leading A Man To Think You Are "Needy" And "Insecure"

Did you know that there are 6 ways you can set off a man's "Insecurity Alert" and make him think twice about pursuing a relationship with you?

Sadly, even confident women often "accidentally" give off one of these signs... and just one can kill the chance of a man asking you on a second date.

As you read through these signals men pick up on as "needy" and unattractive, ask yourself if YOU have ever been guilty of committing one of these deadly mistakes:

Talking or saying nasty things about your past boyfriends. Saying bad things about men you have been involved with actually reflects the negatively back on YOU. It makes a man worry you are carrying around "baggage" that HE will have to deal with should he become involved with you.


Speaking negatively about other women. When women call other women names like "slut", "bitch", and "crazy", it is anything but impressive to a man you are attracted you. Women will often do this when they see a good looking, desirable woman, especially if they feel their man might be attracted to her. This just makes a man think you are trying to cover up your own insecurities, and looking for validation and attention. Not good.
Too much physical contact, especially in public.
If you are constantly hanging on a man or touching him too much he'll start to see it as clingy behavior... but you'll never hear about this from him. It's far better to save your touches for short and infrequent moments that will surprise and enchant him.
The next 3 are far deadlier, but less obvious... and it's important that you learn what they are and how to avoid giving them off.

But before I show you how to do that, let's talk about mistake #2:

» Mistake #2: Appealing To His "Sexual" Side Instead Of His Emotional Side

Many women make the mistake of thinking that men are primarily driven by sex alone... and think if they can attract a man SEXUALLY they will be able to attract him EMOTIONALLY as well.

Women too often give up sex to a man in the hopes that it will translate into a relationship and get them what they want. In reality, a man has the capacity to view a sexual connection and an emotional connection as two entirely different things, and it requires a special set of skills to mold these two things together in a man's mind... and keep them connected.

Men are out for far more than just sex... and a woman who knows how to fulfill a man EMOTIONALLY and SEXUALLY will be the woman who captures a man's heart... and gets that same fulfillment for HERSELF. In a moment, I'll show you how you can learn to do just that...

» Mistake #3: Not Knowing How To Size Up A Man's "Relationship Potential"

A lot of women will decide whether or not they should put energy into building a relationship with a man based on ATTRACTION.

Yes, attraction is important. But it can also be DANGEROUS.

When we feel a strong sense of attraction for someone, it can cause us to override our logic and ignore our instincts... leading us to overlook potential partner's deadly faults that could spell trouble down the road.

If you've ever found yourself stuck in a relationship that is dragging you down, this is probably why.

It's important to be able to size a guy up and spot any "warning signs" of a future bad relationship FAST... so you don't waste any of your time or emotional energy on someone who isn't right for you... or who will leave you heartbroken. Fortunately this is a fairly easy thing to do, and I'd like to show you how...

(Reference book by Christian Carter.. more on next posting)

Dating Tips / Advice

Nothing would be better if you end your date with your special someone fun, one of a kind and memorable. So in order to have a successful and unforgettable dating experience, listed below are some of the most powerful and sure-fire tips in dating.

1. Forget about your past relationships. Past is past so there is no need to discuss the bitterness and heartaches of your past relationships. Talking about past relationships may likely bring an awkward atmosphere to your date because you are there to kick off another journey of your love life and yet you talk exes. Not a good sign to start a brand new relationship.

2. Be yourself. Acting like a second version of someone else will not impress your date. It is one of the major turn offs to most girls or boys. This may likely ending your date with a total mess or complete embarrassment to yourself. Pretending to be on someone else shoes is starting things on a wrong foot. So better, behave and act yourself.

3. Give each other some respect. Do not act as if you are the king or queen of the world. This may probably create a disgusting moment for your date. Being respectful is one of the greatest assets that every people admire. In addition, this can gain trust in favor of you, thus expecting another round of date is a whole lot easier.

4. Observe proper hygiene, outfit and accessories. This may be a basic thing but often mistook. Learn to mix and match things without looking yourself like a Christmas tree. Moreover, who would dare to date someone if he or she stinks, no one, right? However, do not overdo things like showering the whole bottle of perfume in your mother’s closet.

5. Be a good conversationalist. But not to the point that you do all the talking and your date is just listening. How boring! A good conversationalist is a person who knows how to give others a chance to talk and at the same time pay attention to her or him. You will never realize that time flies too fast. This is also good to avoid dead air.

6. Avoid awkward topics. Not all topics are good to talk about. There are some things in life that should not be open up especially if you are having your first dates. Better keep it for yourself unless you know that person way back elementary years.

Healthy Foods that you can buy in Supermarkets

It took months of scouring grocery store aisles and enlisting the help of our favorite nutritionists and chefs to come up with our extended list of the best supermarket foods across the land. We chose foods packed with plenty of the things you want — fiber, protein, healthy fats — without the unnecessary calories, fat, sodium, sugar and salt that pollute so much of our packaged-food supply.The nutritionists ensured that the foods listed below will do your body good, while the chefs made sure we weren’t sacrificing taste. (Because let’s face it, some nutritionists would eat the cardboard boxes these foods come in, strictly to max out their fiber counts.)

From breakfast to dessert and everything in between, we’ve picked out a variety of foods that’ll bring you a ton of flavor, keep you lean, and help you look, feel, and live better than ever. Here are eight of our favorites that’ll satisfy your hunger and taste buds.

BEST INSTANT OATMEAL

Quaker Weight Control Banana Bread Oatmeal (per packet) 160 calories 3 g fat 7 g protein 29 carbs 6 g fiber 1 g sugars.

This instant oatmeal is high in soluble fiber — the stuff that provides long-lasting energy — and gives you a morning shot of belly-filling, muscle-making protein as well. The banana-bread flavor hits the spot without an overwhelming sugar and calorie count. Zap a bowl at home or at work, and you'll get your day off to a fast and body-friendly start. (Remember: Studies show that those who skip breakfast are 450 percent more likely to be overweight or obese!) Less temptation around the doughnut tray at work, too.

BEST GRAIN

Bob’s Red Mill Organic Quinoa (per 1 cup prepared) 160 calories 2.5 g fat 6 g protein 30 g carbs 3 g fiber 0 g sugars.

We don't expect you to eat something you can't pronounce, so here goes: It's KEEN-WAH, and you should think of it as a high-protein, high-fiber replacement for brown rice. Also, whole-grain quinoa packs vital amino acids, which help your body grow and repair itself.

BEST SNACKING CHEESE

Laughing Cow Mini Babybel Original (per piece) 70 calories 6 g fat 5 g protein 0 g carbs
0 g sugars.

You may think of cheese as an indulgence, but it can be a great snack. The fat in cheese is proven to suppress your appetite, making it ideal to take the edge off hunger in between meals. Laughing Cow’s little packages will keep you from overdoing it — who has time to unwrap more than three of the little bundles?

BEST BOTTLED TEA

Honest Tea Green Dragon (per 16-oz bottle) 60 calories 16 g carbs 10 g sugars.

We sent a swath of green teas off to an independent lab to test for antioxidant levels, and Honest came back the winner. Then we did our favorite part of food testing: We guzzled the contenders. Lucky for you, Honest Tea aced our taste test.

BEST FLAVORED NUTS

Emerald Cocoa Roast Almonds Dark Chocolate (per ounce) 150 calories 12 g fat 6 g protein 6 g carbs 3 g fiber 1 g sugars.

Almonds are packed full of heart-healthy fats and antioxidants, which makes them perfect for staving off mid-afternoon hunger cravings. We especially love these almonds because they remind us of a Hershey almond bar, minus all the sugar. This is our new favorite way of doing crunches in the afternoon.

BEST ENERGY BAR

Lärabar Apple Pie (per bar) 180 calories 10 g fat 4 g protein 23 g carbs 4 g fiber
17 g sugars.

A great new twist on the mom-apple pie connection. Most energy and protein bars are polluted with sugar, making them more akin to a Snickers than to something you might actually want to snack on. But Lärabar ditches the synthetic sugars and fillers in favor of six simple ingredients: dates, walnuts, apples, almonds, raisins, and cinnamon. Wash it down with high-protein, high calcium Organic Valley Low Fat milk (another winner): Mom would definitely approve.

BEST FROZEN TREAT

Edy’s/Dreyer’s Slow Churned Vanilla with Crunch Bar (per bar) 150 calories 19 g carbs 8 g fat
10 g sugars.

We know what you’re thinking: “Ice cream bars are flat-belly foods?” Remember: People who don’t treat themselves to an occasional indulgence end up with an empty carton of ice cream on their laps at midnight. Part of getting lean and staying lean is picking relatively innocent indulgences that will satisfy your cravings without sabotaging your diet. Bonus: Bars also keep you from the “just one more bite” risk that the tub of ice cream will turn you into a tub, as well.

BEST PACKAGED COLD CUTS

Hormel Natural Choice Presliced Deli Meats (per 3 turkey slices) 50 calories 10 g protein 1 g carbs 1 g fat 0 g sugars.

Their turkey cold cuts are another tasty way to deliver protein. Hormel deli meats are 100-percent natural, as well as nitrate- and nitrite-free. Wrap a slice around a slice of Sargento Deli Style Aged Swiss for an all-star snack.