Some Unusual But High-Paying Jobs

Some of these hot new careers you may have never heard of are "green-collar" jobs. These jobs are on the rise as the business world responds to dramatic increases in energy costs and environmental regulation. And while disposable income seems threatened by a roller-coaster economy, other new careers are springing up to suit those who have cash to spend.

Here are some of the hot career fields you may not have heard of:

Eco Tourism Director

Traditional hospitality careers are increasingly marching to the ecotourism drumbeat. According to the International Ecotourism Society, ecotourism is growing at three times the rate of traditional vacationing, increasing annually up to 30 percent. If you're just preparing for the field, seek an associate's degree in hospitality, travel, or tourism. If you're already aboard, why not train to manage a hotel, bed and breakfast, spa, or resort with a graduate degree in business or hospitality? The majority of lodging managers are self-employed professionals. Top earners in 2007 averaged $83,240 for the year.

Professional Hacker

Ever hear of a certified ethical hacker? That's the professional IT certification for a computer scientist that works as a security specialist, forensic investigator, or network defense architect for corporations, the government, and law enforcement agencies to help prevent hacking or to track down perpetrators. To get into the field, you'll need more than the hacking skills you tweaked together in your garage. Begin by earning a bachelor's degree in computer science or information technology. You can get additional online college training in network security. The top 50 percent of computer scientists earned between $97,970 and $123,900 in 2007.

Pet Psychologist

Don't be so shocked. Even Sparky sometimes needs help to keep from gnawing through the neighbor's bed of prized roses. Once the local vet has ruled out physical ailments that can contribute to rude pet behavior, people who love their animals may need to call in a trained, certified behaviorist or pet psychologist. As with human patients, pets can be analyzed and taught to act contrary to destructive impulses. There are even certified applied animal behaviorists. To get into the field, you'll need a master's or doctorate degree in psychology, preferably with additional work in zoology and animal behavior. Salaries vary greatly by locale, but can be upwards of $90,000 a year.

Conservation Consultant

There are companies who are greatly concerned with increasing energy efficiency. And there are those with a conscience, striving to reduce their carbon footprint. When some states decided to go carbon-neutral by 2007, they hired a director of energy strategy and climate change. Combine your thirst for conservation with an engineering degree to prepare for this thriving field. The U.S. Labor Department predicts a hefty 25 percent increase in environmental engineers during the 2006-2016 decade. In 2007, the top 50 percent earned between $70,000 and $106,000.

Fashion Consultant/Personal Shopper

Among those who care about their appearance, many are born with amazing taste; some have to work for it. Fashion designers and consultants help those who can afford personal attention to transform their image. You can be the one to consult on hair, makeup, and fashion--and then be the one to take your clients shopping. Get career training through an associate's or bachelor's degree program in fashion design. Top earners in the fashion design trades in 2007 took home $121,640 on average.

Mobile Experience Architect

The cool streaming videos and eye-popping CD covers that get delivered to the screens of millions of cell phones and PDAs each hour are designed to make you spend money. Information architects create the structure and mind-manipulating patterns (site maps) of each mobile delivery. You'll need to learn about marketing, strategy, and user testing through a degree program in computer science, Web design, or business. There's even an IT certification for professional mobile architects. Salaries range into six figures.

As our world rapidly evolves, it's no surprise that the work landscape is evolving as well. You can prepare for and keep up with the changes by updating your training and credentials.

Ten Ways to Improve Your Memory

Brain Pictures

When your reminders affect your sense of fashion, it's time for some tips on improving memory. See more brain pictures.

­­The human brai­n is like a library that stock­s memories instead of books. In some ways, that makes the hippocampus, the part of the brain most involved in memory, the brain's librarian. The hippocampus has the most responsibility in this cranial library, juggling the new releases of short-term memory while cataloging materials for the permanent collection of long-term memory. It's not the only part at work, however, in storing these chapters of our lives. Different kinds of memory are stored in different areas of the brain. With such a large system, the brain needs a system of encoding and retrieving memories, something a bit more complex than the local library's Dewey Decimal System.


The brain has to be able to pull information at the drop of a hat, whether it's a fact on hold (such as a telephone number) or a dusty memory that's been sitting in storage for years (the memory of your first kiss). No one likes a library that loses books or shelves them in the wrong place. Yet sometimes we find ourselves with a very poor librarian on our hands, one that doesn't allow us to retrieve memories when we need them. Sometimes it's trivial, like when we tear apart our homes looking for glasses perched innocuously atop our heads, and sometimes these lapses in memories are more embarrassing, such as when we call a colleague "sport" because we simply can't remember his name.

Whether you're a college student studying for an important test or an aging baby boomer concerned about forgetting a recent doctor's appointment, there are a few things everyone can do to optimize the storage and checkouts in our private libraries of memories. Alert the librarian and head to the next page for the first tip.

10. Drink in Moderation

Before you settle in to read this article, you may want to get yourself a glass of wine. Surprised that such debauchery begins our list of memory improvers? Well, hear us out. Memory and alcohol have an interesting relationship.

Stockbyte/Getty Images

Cheers to your health!First off, you'll notice we didn't advocate bringing the entire bottle back with you. Too much drinking handicaps the memory, as anyone who's ever woken after a binge with a fuzzy recollection of the night before can attest. And one component of a DUI test shows how overconsumption of alcohol can immediately affect the brain: Even simple mental tasks like counting backward and reciting the alphabet can become tricky under the influence. Alcohol abuse will have a negative effect on the cells of the brain related to memory.

But as long as you're not pregnant and able to maintain control of how much you drink, there's evidence that light to moderate alcohol consumption can improve memory and cognition. Though more research needs to be done, some studies have found that moderate drinkers do better on certain tests of memory and cognition than nondrinkers and heavy drinkers [sources: Victoroff, Minerd]. There may be some long-term effects as well. A French study that followed almost 4,000 people over the age of 65 found that light drinkers, who consumed up to two glasses of wine a day, were 45 percent less likely to develop Alzheimer's disease than nondrinkers [source: Victoroff].

But as we said, don't start tipping back beverages if you have certain risk factors, such as a family history of alcoholism. No one is recommending that teetotalers start drinking, either. Resveratrol, one of the flavonoids in red wine that's believed to have special benefits for blood vessels, is also in red grape juice.

If you tend to drink when you're sad, head to the next page for some information on how your blues affect your brain.

9. Seek Treatment for Depression

Anything that causes major stress in life, including anxiety or anger, will eventually eat away at the parts of the brain that are responsible for memory. Chief among these stressors is major depression. Depression is often misidentified as a memory problem since one of the main symptoms of the condition is an inability to concentrate. If you can't concentrate on schoolwork or the information needed to complete a task on the job, then you may feel as if you're constantly forgetting things. As it is, you're not even able to concentrate long enough to learn them in the first place.

altrendo images/Altrendo/Getty Images

Can't concentrate at work? It may be depression.

Depression causes an increase of cortisol levels in the bloodstream, which in turns elevates the amount of cortisol in the brain. With the help of brain imaging devices, doctors have been able to see how that increased cortisol diminishes certain brain areas, chief among them the hippocampus [source: Tan]. One study showed that people who had been depressed, even if it was years ago, had suffered a 12 to 15 percent loss in the hippocampus [source: Victoroff]. Since the hippocampus is the clearing center for short-term memory, prolonged depression demolishes the brain's ability to remember anything new.

Additionally, depression affects the types of things a person is able to remember. While everyone's brain is selective about which memories make it into long-term storage, people with depression seem only able to retain negative memories [source: Crook]. That means there's a neurological reason why a person with depression remains obsessed with the one time a loved one forgot a birthday or anniversary, even if it was remembered every other year.

But happy memories needn't be lost forever to someone battling depression. Medications for depression, including selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), have been shown to jump-start the process of cell regeneration in the hippocampus [source: Tan].

The next item on our list can help fight depression while it improves memory as well.

8. Get Moving


Ariel Skelley/Photographer's Choice RR/Getty Images
A brisk walk can be the best exercise for your brain.If you've ever taken a break from work or studying to take a quick walk around the block, you may understand the rationale for this next tip. Exercise not only exercises the body, it exercises the brain as well.

Obesity is a risk factor for many diseases and conditions that eventually wreak havoc on the brain, including stroke and Alzheimer's disease. Without regular exercise, plaque builds up in the arteries and blood vessels lose the ability to pump blood effectively. While you may know how plaque buildup leads to heart attacks, you may not think about the way your brain is gasping for breath as well.

The brain depends on energy received through a constant intake of oxygen and nutrients from the bloodstream, and when those nutrients don't arrive, the brain's ability to work is compromised. So to keep the blood moving to the brain, you're going to need to get up from your chair (after you finish reading this article, of course) and get the blood pumping. It doesn't matter what you do -- a brisk walk, a swim and even a dance move or two can all provide a good mental workout. Studies show that the more physically active a person is, the greater his or her cognitive performance [source: Victoroff].

Keep a lookout on your brisk walk for interesting images -- you'll need them for the memory tip on the next page.

(Till next issue..)


(By Molly Edmons; Oct. 18, 2008)

How Sex Addiction is Affecting Your Life

By Dr. Laura Berman
Posted Wed, Sep 17, 2008

This month, gossip blogs and celebrity magazines were rocked with the news that Californication star David Duchovny checked into rehab for sex addition.
Previous reports suggested that Duchovny was struggling with an addiction to Internet pornography and cybersex, but more recent rumors maintain that actual physical infidelity occurred. (However, just because Duchovny created a television series in which his fantasized writings turned into actual dalliances, we can't assume this infidelity manifested in his real life as well. Until we receive proof to the contrary, let's assume that he kept his pants on, unlike the main character he dreamt up and plays everyday.)

That being said, most couples would agree (rightfully so) that cybersex addiction can be just as devastating and hurtful as an actual affair, and it is becoming a growing concern in our tech-savvy society. According to a study released by Stanford University, 25 million Americans visit cybersex sites 1-10 hours per week, while 4.7 million Americans visit cybersex sites more than 11 hours per week.

What does the growing presence of available Internet pornography and cybersex mean for modern relationships?

Communication is required. Couples need to discuss what they consider infidelity within the confines of their relationship. For instance, is it okay for your partner to look at online pornography? Does it matter if you are present, or can he/she be free to surf solo without fear of you taking offense? Is it permissible for your partner to contact other people via the web for cybersex? Whatever you and your partner decide, agree to keep the honesty intact when accessing the web.

Consider the amount of time the cyber world takes away from your relationship. Even if you and your partner decide that cyber play is permissible, be aware of how much time you are spending on the Internet. If you are devoting more time to online erotica and virtual strangers than you are to your partner, then something is amiss. This can also be a sign of a cybersex addiction, particularly if you feel helpless to control your time online.

Secrets are a warning sign. When secrecy creeps into your "innocent" Internet play, it means that there is a problem. Whether you are hiding from your partner how much time you spend on the Internet, the sites you visit, or the people you talk to online, you are creating an environment for infidelity and relationship breakdown.

If you think that cybersex activity has become more than just a passing hobby, don't despair. Cybersex addiction can be treated, and your partner can help you through this difficult time. Click on this link for resources and treatment options. Cybersex addiction (and all sex addiction) can be just as devastating as drug/alcohol addictions, and most people need a system of support to stop their destructive behavior. Ask for help -- you will be so happy you did.

Are Bad Habits Keeping You Single?

In the search for love, it's all too easy to get sidetracked by bad dates, broken hearts, and bad love habits. And while bad dates and broken hearts are part of the dating journey toward happily-ever-after, bad love habits can and should be avoided at all costs.

So what's a bad love habit? Any dysfunctional, destructive, difficult belief or habit you have towards love and relationships that's keeping you from finding, attracting, and/or maintaining a healthy relationship. The following are some common bad dating beliefs:

You choose potential partners who are incapable of meeting your emotional needs.

You think love has to be difficult, painful, and/or hard.

You think your potential partner is going to fix whatever you don't like about yourself or your life.

You think your potential partner is going to fix whatever you don't like about yourself or your life.

You believe time is running out on your search for love and/or your chance to have children.

If any of the above sound familiar, don't worry. You're not a lost cause. In fact, with a little time and effort, you can turn things around! What follows are five simple and effective tips and techniques geared toward helping you break free of limiting relationship beliefs and bad dating habits. Practiced over time, you can and will kick any bad dating habit -- for good!

1. Identify the dating traps you're stuck in

Think you've got to miraculously solve all your problems before you'll be deserving of love? Convinced there are no good "ones" left? Or do you believe that your perfect partner will one day swoop in and magically save you from your life? If any or all of the above sound familiar, chances are good that you suffer from some common dating traps. In order to become a successful single, you first need to free yourself from these traps. Acknowledging the traps you're stuck in is the first step. Next, you've got to break free of these traps, as well as any other limiting or destructive beliefs that are keeping you stuck. To find out how, keep reading.

2. Assess your excess baggage

Next, it's important to get honest with yourself about what you might be lugging around with you on dates (or in life in general). What are you holding onto that no longer serves you? Rejection, disappointment, betrayal? This is from your past, not your present or future. If you've got negative or destructive beliefs or fears weighing you down, you owe it to yourself to dump that excess baggage!

3. Dump your excess baggage

In order to have a happily ever after future, you have to first believe you deserve finding a mate. Gather those painful memories, that chip on your shoulder, any residual anger from past relationship experiences, and tell them they've got to go. Thank them for the lessons you've learned and tell them that it's now time for you to stand on your own two feet. In your mind's eye, give them the heave-ho! Next, start visualizing the kind of life you want to have, complete with your dream job, perfect partner, ideal home, etc. By getting clear about what you want, you give yourself permission to attract it.

4. Stop putting off your life and/or personal happiness

So many of us put off personal happiness waiting for some external result like "I'll be happy when I lose weight, when I pay off my debts, when I get a better job." The truth is, you deserve to enjoy your fabulously imperfect life right this very minute!

When you stop putting off happiness, you start attracting happy people, healthy relationships, exciting and new opportunities.

When you stop putting off happiness, you start attracting happy people, healthy relationships, exciting and new opportunities. Instead of postponing joy until something external happens, today's the day to start celebrating the joy in your everyday life.

5. Embrace a new dating vocabulary

Now that you're baggage light and dating-trap free, it's time to introduce a new vocabulary to your dating belief system. Every morning and night for 30 days, practice the following exercise: Say to yourself "Love/dating/my ideal relationship is..." and then fill in the blank with the appropriate words (words like healthy, whole, loving, fun, etc.). By creating a new vocabulary for yourself, you may be surprised at how your outlook on dating and relationships changes, and as a result, you'll start attracting happier and healthier potential partners. Love that!

So there you have it -- five simple dating tips and techniques to help you break free of limiting relationship beliefs and bad love habits. May you learn them, love them, live them. In doing so, you just may fall in love with your life all over again, not to mention exponentially increase your chances of future relationship success.

Good luck and happy dating!

How to Tell if a Guy Is Cheating

Do the headlines have you spooked? Here are the surprising signs a dude is being unfaithful.

By Holly Eagleson

1. He's superprotective of his gadgets. "The main way that trysts are found out is through the discovery of incriminating e-mails, IM chats, cell phone texts or bills," says Belisa Vranich, PsyD, a clinical psychologist in New York City. So if he's being unfaithful, he may guard his gadgets or act really defensive when you innocently touch his phone or computer. It should be a giant red flag if he readily gave you passwords in the past, and now he's more evasive.

2. He steps up the grooming. This is so obvious, but it's a sign many women miss: "If your man starts grooming more without you requesting it, that could be an indication that he's getting intimate with someone else," says Vranich. You can actually thank modern mass media for this tipoff. Guys today are used to viewing manscaped dudes onscreen, so if he has another chick to impress with his appearance, he may emulate those ultra-trimmed guys. Another clue: He's spending more time at the gym.

3. He smells different. "When he comes home, if he doesn't smell the same as he did in the morning, and it isn't the scent of soap in the gym or at your home, it may be because he's showered at her place," offers Vranich. So pay attention, because in this case, that old saying "the nose knows" might very well be true.

4. Nothing fazes him anymore. "If he was short-tempered before, a combination of added intimacy and attention could be making him way more relaxed, even downright giddy," Vranich says. Adds Mira Kirshenbaum, author of "When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts and Minds of People in Two Relationships": "
If your guy is suddenly going around all happy and whistling, then you need to find out why.

If your guy is suddenly going around all happy and whistling, then you need to find out why."

5. He becomes suspicious of you. "If he's normally a mellow type, all of a sudden he may want to know where you are all the time and with whom," says Vranich. "It's the result of him realizing that if he's cheating and it's not that hard, you might also be getting away with it." Also, beware of extremely detailed responses to even your most innocent "How was work today?" queries. He may be preparing epic answers because he's terrified of getting caught.

One caveat: If your romantic life hasn't fallen off, that's no guarantee that he's faithful. "It's a serious mistake to think that affairs are necessarily physical. He may just be unhappy in other parts of the relationship," says Kirshenbaum. In fact, an illicit relationship could even stoke his lust for you.

(Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.)

5 Ways to Love the Woman You Married

Here are better ways to love the woman you married. It is called loving with wisdom. Do these 5 things on a consistent basis and, after one month, you will find out that your marriage has improved.

Step 1: Listen to Your Wife

Do you listen to what your wife is saying? You listen to your boss when he is rambling on, don’t you? You listen to your naïve buddies tell you all kinds of things that don’t really matter in life, don’t you? Well then, why aren’t you listening to your wife? Start really hearing what she has to say and be supportive of her feelings and opinions. That means, opening up your ears and being perceptive to your wife’s needs.

Step 2: Appreciate Your Wife

When was the last time you told your wife how much you really appreciate her and all the things she does? A woman puts out a lot more energy into the home and family affairs than the husband does. Sometimes she may feel as if she is the only one doing anything around the house and this is when she starts getting bossy and naggy with you.

I encourage you husband’s to start appreciating your wife for all that she does for you and the family. Marriage can be such a beautiful relationship when you show your love with wisdom. Stop just for a moment, and mediate on the beautiful woman you married. Be thankful that God gave her to you. Realize how blessed you are to have this woman as your wife and know that she is your right arm and sometimes your left arm too. Make your wife feel good about who she is and all that she does.

Step 3: Make Love. Please Your Wife Sexually

There is a difference between having sex and making love. Sex is a one sided selfish act that is mostly enjoyed by the husband. Women need a bit more pampering and nurturing in the bedroom. I mean, what does a woman get out of five minutes of copulation? Okay, so it takes a little bit more time to please your wife and you’re tired, so make love in the afternoon or early morning. You do have options. Love your wife with wisdom and start pleasing the woman you married.

Step 4: Be More Helpful

Be more helpful by “asking” your wife if there is anything she needs you to do around the house, in the kitchen, or in the yard. For instance, she isn’t the only one who eats dinner you know. Maybe she would like some help chopping up vegetables, setting the table, or loading the dishwasher. She probably has mowed your yard for you, so give back in return and do some extra things for her around the house. She will be pleased that you did.

Step 5: Be the Man of the House

Be her man and she’ll want to be your woman. Did you know that your wife becomes bossy and domineering because you are not listening to her? She feels unloved and unneeded by you when you take her for granted instead of appreciating all that she does for you and the family? A woman needs to be valued by her husband. This gives her more love to give to you.

If you want a humble and kind wife then don’t behave as if you are better than her. Share your feelings with your wife and get close with her. Don’t be afraid to let down your guard once in awhile. If you have emotions that are not getting met, talk to your wife about it. A wife wants to be there for her husband but if you don’t let your wife in, how can she help?

If you want a feminine, humble and kind wife, then don’t try and control her to be what you want her to be. She needs to be her own person. What you can do though, is control yourself to behave a certain way that makes your wife want to submit to your loving influence. Be a good example and she will want to surrender her love to that example. Love your wife with wisdom.

To the man who pleases her wife, God gives wisdom, knowledge, and happiness.

(Source: http://www.ehow.com)

Simple tricks that help trim down your waistline

A big part of my recent weight loss—especially my shrinking waistline—may have been the easiest thing I did in the past year (and still do!): Eat vitamin C–rich fruits every day. I usually have them as a midmorning snack or as part of my breakfast. If not an orange or grapefruit, I'll mix strawberries with lowfat yogurt to ensure I'm set on C for the day. (You can even buy unsweetened green tea with vitamin C.)

This nutrient helps curb fat absorption, and studies show that low levels of C are associated with bigger waists. Also, people with the most vitamin C in their blood have the lowest body-fat percentages, researchers at Arizona State University at Mesa say. But about 30 percent of Americans don't get enough of the vitamin. Women need only 75 milligrams a day, 90 mg for guys (about the amount in a cup of strawberries or an orange).

Try this tasty recipe to get your daily dose. This zippy sip from Red Mountain Spa in St. George, Utah, delivers a serving of fruit and has only 64 calories:

Sparkling Melon Soup (Makes two servings, each with 96 mg of C.)

Chop half a ripe cantaloupe into 1-inch chunks. Blend with 1 tsp chopped fresh mint and 1 tbsp lime-flavored Perrier. Drop in 1/4 cup minced pineapple. Add 1/4 cup minced strawberries. (By Lucy Danziger, Editor-in-Chief, SELF Magazine)

Dating Older Women

Perspectives from the "younger men" and dating tips for them

The reasons why some men date older women are as varied as the women themselves. These women, because of their experience, often have more wisdom and self-assurance than younger women -- perhaps they may also possess more self-reliance and tolerance.

Some men receive mentoring from older women, who have had more relationship experience and often understand men well.

Some men receive mentoring from older women, who have had more relationship experience and often understand men well. Clearer about who they are and what they want, "older women" may even have an advantage in the dating arena.
In some cases, having a relationship with an older woman may work for men who don't want children:

"My wife and I have been married for almost 20 years," says Rocco. "She was 53 and I was 41 when we met. We both shared many values, including our faith. Our children are grown up now, and mine love her. So, it's worked out very well. I tell men who have been divorced at least once to go for an older woman... If you find the right one, don't worry about age -- unless you still want more children."

A man who dates someone who has children his age will run into the occassional social opposition. But there are men (like Ben, 25, who is dating a 45-year-old woman) who can overcome resistance.

Ben says: "A woman can be 25 and marry a man of 45 or 55 and, hey, whatever. Traditionally, it's been ingrained in our psyches... that's the way it goes, but not the other way around. We've always known that age may be an issue. But now that we've been together for a while, I have a new perspective.

Not all men are comfortable dating older women. Some men, like Clyde, worry about the future. Clyde says: "I dated a woman who is 15 years older. We dated for a bit and then settled into just enjoying each others company. She has a fit body and is an attractive woman. People said to me, why don't I commit to her if we enjoy each other's company? I told them I worried about how things would feel in 10 years when she's over 60 and I'm in my 40s... And then further down the years."

Through my experience as a therapist and marriage counselor, age difference isn't as important in a relationship as most people think. What counts is whether a couple can create a working partnership and build an enjoyable life together. So, for you men who've fallen head-over-heels in love with an older woman, I've developed nine tips on how to enjoy your newly found romance:

1. Be a gentleman. An older woman wants to be treated with respect, like any woman does. While she might attracted to your rebelliousness or youthful attitude, she still wants you to treat her with good manners.
2. Don't get ahead of yourself. Don't worry about the future until you actually might have one. Take your time and allow the relationship to develop.
3. Stay calm. You may be excited, but don't overdo it. Have fun and enjoy your dates, but don't come on too strong. She has some reservations, too.
4. Be charming. Don't underestimate how powerful your smile can be. Use it often, make eye contact, and keep the conversation flowing. Pay attention to what interests you about your date, and show interest in her opinions, experiences, and activities. Be complementary whenever possible, and respond intelligently to whatever she says.
5. Don't focus on looks.
Give complements, but focus less on her physical appearance -- she may be anxious about it.
Give complements, but focus less on her physical appearance -- she may be anxious about it. And even if you're complementary, she may worry that you're too focused on looks. She wants to be appreciated for who she is, including her intellect and style. Compliments like "That color is lovely on you," or "You look great tonight" are safer than "You're in great shape."
6. Have fun. Keep your dates simple and have a good time. Focus on being pleasant, and not getting too far ahead of the relationship. Refrain from talking too long about any one subject without inviting a comment from your date.
7. Keep conversation interesting and light. Feel free to talk about anything, including your personal lives, past relationships, and love in general, but don't be the one who brings up the intimate topics first. Be wary of prying too deeply into her private life and secrets, unless the information is voluntarily offered.
8. Avoid talking too much about yourself. Keep your focus on learning about your date. Dole out the boring information about yourself. Punctuate your conversation with questions: "What do you think?" "Has it been that way for you?"
9. Pay attention! Listen to answers to your questions. You have things to learn here! Seek to get to know each other better. No matter how thrilled you may be about her, listening to what she says, watching what she does, and understanding how she feels are the most important things you can do.

Ten Signs that You're Dating the Committed Guy

Are you ready for a relationship that is going to lead somewhere without you being led on? It's time to start weeding out the commitment phobics and put your time and effort into men that are looking for the kind of relationship you want -- one that has a future. If you're interested in getting married, ignore these at your own risk. Here's what to look for:

1. His friends are married

If you are interested in a guy, check out his friends' left hands to see if they have wedding rings on.
Research has show that if his friends are already married, he's more likely to get married.
Research has show that if his friends are already married, he's more likely to get married. If all of his friends are still single and in the "party-with-the-boys" phase, that's a bad sign.

2. He's financially secure

Studies show that men who own a home are more marriage-ready. A man who is generally financially stable, and has his ducks in a row, feels marriage is a practical next step for him.

3. He pursues you

The guy who is commitment-ready is going to initiate doing things with you. If you're emailing him and he takes days to email you back, if you have to text him to find out where he is, if you are always calling him, you're chasing a man who's probably not marriage-material.

4. He's willing to wait

Yes, research is telling us what we already know: If a guy gets to know you before getting intimate, he is more likely to commit.

5. He watches DVDs with you when you're sick

Taking care of you when you're sick shows that this guy isn't just in it for the fun and sex. If he wants to be with you in bad times, it's a sign he's in it for the long haul.

6. He gets to know your friends and family

A guy who is thinking long-term wants to truly get to know you. Seeing you interact with your family and friends helps him learn where you come from and more about who you are. The flip side of it is that he will also want you to get to know him! He'll want to see if you fit in with his family and friends. A guy who keeps you separate from the important people in his life is just playing around.

7. He says, "we" instead of "me"

When he switches from "me" to "we", that's a sign he's committing to you at a deeper level. If your guy is all, "I", "me", and "my" instead of "we" and "us" in conversations after you've been dating a while, his mindset is still in single guy mode.

8. He's not afraid of compromise

A commitment-ready guy is going to ask your opinion, consult you about decisions he needs to make, and has the ability to meet you half-way.
A commitment-ready guy is going to ask your opinion, consult you about decisions he needs to make, and has the ability to meet you half-way. A bull-headed guy who needs everything his way or it's the highway, isn't ready for the compromise that's naturally part of a mature relationship.

9. He doesn't need excuses

Commitment-phobic guys always have an excuse about why they can't be with you on Saturday night, why they didn't call, and why they aren't ready for a relationship right now. A commitment-ready guy doesn't need excuses, he just needs you.

10. He likes being in a long-term relationship

Some men like being in a monogamous relationship and some don't. The sooner you realize and accept this the better. If he complains all the time about needing space, treats you like a giant burden instead of a gift, and keeps talking about taking things slow, he's telling you he's not ready for a commitment. On the other hand, if he's done with the party scene, enjoys your "couple time" together, and has a strong sense of family, you've found a commitment-ready guy.

Why do you fall asleep after sex?

1. Why do you fall asleep after sex?
To escape the inevitable questions that arise: "Do you love me?" "Am I pretty?" "Can I have $300 so my aunt can have an operation?"


No one needs an interrogation when his body has just performed a feat of stunning humanity. You see, powerful hypnotic brain drugs are released during orgasm: good shit like endorphins, oxytocin, and prolactin (or, as they're known on the street, Sleepy, Dopey, and Kim Jong Il).

Men produce more of these neurochemicals than women and also tend to exert themselves more during sex, usually doing most of the heavy lifting, thus leaving the woman free to close her eyes and fantasize about England.

2. I haven't been with many women.. but my new girlfriend's labia seem really different. They're huge. Is this common?
Allow me to interrupt for one moment. As your sexual counsel, I must advise you not to admit that in the press again.

Not today, but many millions of hundreds of years ago, women like your girlfriend were prized for their large, strapping labia, which made it easier for them to navigate through rough river currents during Flapulus, a sort of primitive wake-boarding sport played by kings. And we all owe a debt to the brave, brawny-lipped women who aided the resistance movement by relaying covert semaphore messages to the Allies. But things have changed a lot since then. Your repulsion at the sight of her may be spurred by the female genitalia you've no doubt seen in your precious porn. However, not all current women look that way, and not all those who do arrive at it naturally.

Dr. Scott M. Gulinson, of the Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute of Phoenix, says his patients routinely bring in magazine pictures of their ideal vulvas and, after having the picture turned right-side up for them, often choose to undergo labiaplasty -- a newish procedure for the very spiffy, wherein the inner labia are made smaller, more symmetrical, more aerodynamic, and much, much better. And while the rest of us marvel at how gentle Homo sapiens is slowly giving way to newer, sleeker strains of primate (I speak specifically of Homo electivus surgerius, dubbed "Van Nuys Woman," whose fossilized remains date back to A.D. 1984), some people are unhappy. Sexologist Betty Dodson is one of them. "They trim off their beautiful petals," she says, "so they'll have what they call the clamshell look, which is very prepubescent." And superhot for spring!

Now, labiaplasty shouldn't be performed on your girlfriend unless she's truly ashamed of herself. And there is perhaps another way. "We need to reach women in grade school!" pleads Dodson. "We need to let them see the variety out there so they won't feel like this! As an owner of large inner lips" -- and this is where my correspondence with Betty unfortunately broke off. But if you'd like to get involved in the Grade School Women Labia Acceptance Movement, write your congressman.

3. My wife and I love each other, but we just don't have a great sex life anymore. Is it actually possible to reinvigorate a stale sexual relationship, or is that just therapist nonsense?
Say what you will about therapy, but at the risk of sounding glib, I'll admit that my thrice-weekly angel-guided rebirthing sessions are really starting to kick in, and I barely mind being in the trash bag anymore. Therapists and therapy experts alike recommend solving any big problems first. Sex therapist Stephanie Buehler believes that once couples halt "the repeated trips to rehab, gambling, and domestic violence, then there is room for love to grow like a rose." (She didn't say what color rose.) Then maybe attempt some open, honest, slightly icky sex talk with your wife. "We suggest that people begin to have those conversations in nonsexual settings," says Pala Copeland, who, along with her partner, Al, runs a tantric-sex thing at their home in Ottawa. Any nonsexual setting will do; it needn't be a Minnesota airport or even a public men's room, for that matter. Or why not join Pala, Al, and some of the other tantra-heads for a group encounter? "We show video clips," she says. "There are periods of intercourse interspersed with periods of cuddling and holding, or feeding each other something, or kissing, or oral sex, or manual stimulation." Which is all super, but I come for the live lute shows and nightly smoothie specials. Anyway, everyone seems to agree that it's best to relax during sex and not focus on orgasms, unless you want to have orgasms, in which case, you may have to rub them out for yourself a while longer.(Stacey Grenrock Woods; esquire.com)

How to flirt online and get a date..!

10 questions to get sparks flying

By Liz H. Kelly

What can you say in an email or instant message (IM) to entice someone to get to coffee talk? You are trying to get to the first date level. So what are the tricks to flirting online?Three keys to online flirting success:

1. Humor is your ally. A 35-year-old male film editor told me, "It depends on the person. You need to be able to read the person to tell what kind of humor you can get away with.

Humor is definitely sexy

Humor is definitely sexy, and so is confidence because girls pick that up."

2. Keep it simple. Use light-hearted emails or IMs with an upbeat tone to attract dates online. A 40-something female painter shared, "Make your responses simple and use easy questions in your messages to flirt." There is no need for long emails or IMs either. A 42-year-old accountant told me, "I can tell if I am interested in three or four sentences."

3. Hand out compliments. One of the best ways to flirt online is to extend a sincere compliment.

One guy told me, "I always try to say something subtle but sincere." You might say to someone who plays the piano, "I think it is awesome that you play piano." He added, "Be sincere and don't throw out phony baloney."

10 IM or email flirting questions

Based on interviews with hundreds of active daters for my book, "SMART Man Hunting," here are 10 proven questions that can help you ignite sparks online:

1. Where did you get that fantastic smile?

2. What is your favorite ice cream flavor and why?

3. What is the most romantic place that you've been on a date?

4. What would you do if we got stuck in a snow storm in the mountains?

5. If you were going to take me out for a romantic evening, what would we do?

6. What is your favorite thing to do with a partner for fun?

7. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?

8. How long have you played guitar? (Ask about something in their profile.)

9. Wow, is that your cute golden retriever? (Compliment something in their photograph.)

10. When are we going to meet to find out whether we would ever want to kiss each other? (Depending on the person, you can sound cute using this one)

Have some fun -- use humor and good will. Keep it simple when you're using these email flirting questions. You will have better luck using levity and sincere compliments online.

How to attract and keep 'Mr. Right'

An Open Letter To A Woman Who Wants To ATTRACT And KEEP Mr. Right...

Dear Friend,

I'd like to ask you a few questions. Be open and honest with yourself as you answer them...

Have you ever met a guy who seemed to be "Mr. Right", but after getting to know him better you could tell that he just didn't feel that same level of "connection" you felt?

You were attracted to him, but he just wasn't into you the same way you were into him?

In your mind, you could sense what a great guy he was, and that, somewhere deep inside, you both shared this strong "chemistry" that made you feel close and comfortable. But for some reason he didn't want to truly connect with you.

Another one...

Have you ever slept with a guy very quickly after meeting him, but as it started to happen you got that sinking feeling in your stomach? You knew it was a mistake, but you did it anyway. And then the thing you KNEW would happen actually happened: He unexplainably disappeared from your life. Honestly, have you ever had this happen?

Of course, the worst part wasn't that it happened, but that you KNEW you shouldn't have done it in the first place... but you did it anyway.

And finally:

Have you ever dated a great guy for a long time... I'm talking about six months, twelve months, or even longer... and it was getting to the point where you needed to have "the talk" with him. But when you tried to bring up the topic of having a relationship and making a bigger commitment, his eyes just glazed over... and then he became distant from you... and the relationship ended soon after?

You were trying to get CLOSER to him, and somehow he kept moving farther AWAY from you.

I'm guessing that when one of these things happened, your girlfriends said things like:

"He's just a jerk, forget about him".

Or they said: "He doesn't see the mistake he's making or what he'll be missing". But he never seemed to see these mistakes... or even miss you.

And the worst part of all: You kept thinking about it.

In fact, it really GOT TO YOU. And I'll bet the REASON why it got to you is because you worried that it might have been something to do with YOU (and not just because he was a total jerk).

In fact, TO THIS DAY you still have the feeling that YOU may have done something wrong, and that you may have CAUSED some of the problems in the first place... and if you would have known the RIGHT thing to do, things would have turned out differently...

Unfortunately, the bad news is that you're probably right.

Chances are you DID have something to do with it, and things probably WOULD have turned out differently if you would have known how to deal with the situation.

You COULD have done something about it... if only you had known WHAT to do...

The Secret To Attracting And Keeping
A Great Guy...


The main PROBLEM here, and the thing that stood in your way, is that men aren't easy to understand. And when you find a good man, he doesn't come with an "instruction manual".

Just because your girlfriends told you it wasn't your fault, or that he was just "a jerk", doesn't mean that they understood the problem (or that they understand men at all, for that matter).

Most women don't "get" men. Your friends who try to comfort and encourage you have good intentions. They're just trying to make you feel better.

But they're also accidentally making the situation WORSE.

They're trying to blame the situation on HIM, instead of trying to help YOU understand how to KEEP a great guy around.

This situation is MOST dangerous when you meet a really GREAT GUY, but you don't know how to catch him or keep him. Let's face it, great guys are hard to find... and when you do find one, you can't afford to lose him because you made a dumb mistake.

You can't afford to throw away a good six months, a year... or even LONGER... and risk losing what could be a valuable relationship... just because you didn't know how to handle a particular situation.

Well, there is some good news here... I personally believe that there IS something you can do about it.

You CAN learn how to understand men and get them to be open up and understand you. You can learn how to CATCH that great guy, and how to KEEP him.

And how do I know this?

Because I AM a guy. And I've been in all the situations I just mentioned to you... from the OTHER side.

I've seen it from a man's perspective. I've been in those difficult "places" in dating, relationships, and love.

After years and years of experiencing these types of situations and hearing about them from my female friends, I decided to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT...

I spent well over a year carefully documenting and writing about my experiences. I spent much of that time researching, interviewing women, and working out all the ways a woman can get what she wants out of a relationship without scaring off the man she loves... and without letting any of those confusing "guy issues" get in the way.

Here's what I discovered:

The 3 Deadly Mistakes Women Make With Men Without EVER Realizing It...

Through my research and personal experience, I've found that these 3 mistakes are responsible for more failed dates and relationships with men than any other factors. Here they are:

» Mistake #1: Leading A Man To Think You Are "Needy" And "Insecure"

Did you know that there are 6 ways you can set off a man's "Insecurity Alert" and make him think twice about pursuing a relationship with you?

Sadly, even confident women often "accidentally" give off one of these signs... and just one can kill the chance of a man asking you on a second date.

As you read through these signals men pick up on as "needy" and unattractive, ask yourself if YOU have ever been guilty of committing one of these deadly mistakes:

Talking or saying nasty things about your past boyfriends. Saying bad things about men you have been involved with actually reflects the negatively back on YOU. It makes a man worry you are carrying around "baggage" that HE will have to deal with should he become involved with you.


Speaking negatively about other women. When women call other women names like "slut", "bitch", and "crazy", it is anything but impressive to a man you are attracted you. Women will often do this when they see a good looking, desirable woman, especially if they feel their man might be attracted to her. This just makes a man think you are trying to cover up your own insecurities, and looking for validation and attention. Not good.
Too much physical contact, especially in public.
If you are constantly hanging on a man or touching him too much he'll start to see it as clingy behavior... but you'll never hear about this from him. It's far better to save your touches for short and infrequent moments that will surprise and enchant him.
The next 3 are far deadlier, but less obvious... and it's important that you learn what they are and how to avoid giving them off.

But before I show you how to do that, let's talk about mistake #2:

» Mistake #2: Appealing To His "Sexual" Side Instead Of His Emotional Side

Many women make the mistake of thinking that men are primarily driven by sex alone... and think if they can attract a man SEXUALLY they will be able to attract him EMOTIONALLY as well.

Women too often give up sex to a man in the hopes that it will translate into a relationship and get them what they want. In reality, a man has the capacity to view a sexual connection and an emotional connection as two entirely different things, and it requires a special set of skills to mold these two things together in a man's mind... and keep them connected.

Men are out for far more than just sex... and a woman who knows how to fulfill a man EMOTIONALLY and SEXUALLY will be the woman who captures a man's heart... and gets that same fulfillment for HERSELF. In a moment, I'll show you how you can learn to do just that...

» Mistake #3: Not Knowing How To Size Up A Man's "Relationship Potential"

A lot of women will decide whether or not they should put energy into building a relationship with a man based on ATTRACTION.

Yes, attraction is important. But it can also be DANGEROUS.

When we feel a strong sense of attraction for someone, it can cause us to override our logic and ignore our instincts... leading us to overlook potential partner's deadly faults that could spell trouble down the road.

If you've ever found yourself stuck in a relationship that is dragging you down, this is probably why.

It's important to be able to size a guy up and spot any "warning signs" of a future bad relationship FAST... so you don't waste any of your time or emotional energy on someone who isn't right for you... or who will leave you heartbroken. Fortunately this is a fairly easy thing to do, and I'd like to show you how...

(Reference book by Christian Carter.. more on next posting)

Dating Tips / Advice

Nothing would be better if you end your date with your special someone fun, one of a kind and memorable. So in order to have a successful and unforgettable dating experience, listed below are some of the most powerful and sure-fire tips in dating.

1. Forget about your past relationships. Past is past so there is no need to discuss the bitterness and heartaches of your past relationships. Talking about past relationships may likely bring an awkward atmosphere to your date because you are there to kick off another journey of your love life and yet you talk exes. Not a good sign to start a brand new relationship.

2. Be yourself. Acting like a second version of someone else will not impress your date. It is one of the major turn offs to most girls or boys. This may likely ending your date with a total mess or complete embarrassment to yourself. Pretending to be on someone else shoes is starting things on a wrong foot. So better, behave and act yourself.

3. Give each other some respect. Do not act as if you are the king or queen of the world. This may probably create a disgusting moment for your date. Being respectful is one of the greatest assets that every people admire. In addition, this can gain trust in favor of you, thus expecting another round of date is a whole lot easier.

4. Observe proper hygiene, outfit and accessories. This may be a basic thing but often mistook. Learn to mix and match things without looking yourself like a Christmas tree. Moreover, who would dare to date someone if he or she stinks, no one, right? However, do not overdo things like showering the whole bottle of perfume in your mother’s closet.

5. Be a good conversationalist. But not to the point that you do all the talking and your date is just listening. How boring! A good conversationalist is a person who knows how to give others a chance to talk and at the same time pay attention to her or him. You will never realize that time flies too fast. This is also good to avoid dead air.

6. Avoid awkward topics. Not all topics are good to talk about. There are some things in life that should not be open up especially if you are having your first dates. Better keep it for yourself unless you know that person way back elementary years.

Healthy Foods that you can buy in Supermarkets

It took months of scouring grocery store aisles and enlisting the help of our favorite nutritionists and chefs to come up with our extended list of the best supermarket foods across the land. We chose foods packed with plenty of the things you want — fiber, protein, healthy fats — without the unnecessary calories, fat, sodium, sugar and salt that pollute so much of our packaged-food supply.The nutritionists ensured that the foods listed below will do your body good, while the chefs made sure we weren’t sacrificing taste. (Because let’s face it, some nutritionists would eat the cardboard boxes these foods come in, strictly to max out their fiber counts.)

From breakfast to dessert and everything in between, we’ve picked out a variety of foods that’ll bring you a ton of flavor, keep you lean, and help you look, feel, and live better than ever. Here are eight of our favorites that’ll satisfy your hunger and taste buds.

BEST INSTANT OATMEAL

Quaker Weight Control Banana Bread Oatmeal (per packet) 160 calories 3 g fat 7 g protein 29 carbs 6 g fiber 1 g sugars.

This instant oatmeal is high in soluble fiber — the stuff that provides long-lasting energy — and gives you a morning shot of belly-filling, muscle-making protein as well. The banana-bread flavor hits the spot without an overwhelming sugar and calorie count. Zap a bowl at home or at work, and you'll get your day off to a fast and body-friendly start. (Remember: Studies show that those who skip breakfast are 450 percent more likely to be overweight or obese!) Less temptation around the doughnut tray at work, too.

BEST GRAIN

Bob’s Red Mill Organic Quinoa (per 1 cup prepared) 160 calories 2.5 g fat 6 g protein 30 g carbs 3 g fiber 0 g sugars.

We don't expect you to eat something you can't pronounce, so here goes: It's KEEN-WAH, and you should think of it as a high-protein, high-fiber replacement for brown rice. Also, whole-grain quinoa packs vital amino acids, which help your body grow and repair itself.

BEST SNACKING CHEESE

Laughing Cow Mini Babybel Original (per piece) 70 calories 6 g fat 5 g protein 0 g carbs
0 g sugars.

You may think of cheese as an indulgence, but it can be a great snack. The fat in cheese is proven to suppress your appetite, making it ideal to take the edge off hunger in between meals. Laughing Cow’s little packages will keep you from overdoing it — who has time to unwrap more than three of the little bundles?

BEST BOTTLED TEA

Honest Tea Green Dragon (per 16-oz bottle) 60 calories 16 g carbs 10 g sugars.

We sent a swath of green teas off to an independent lab to test for antioxidant levels, and Honest came back the winner. Then we did our favorite part of food testing: We guzzled the contenders. Lucky for you, Honest Tea aced our taste test.

BEST FLAVORED NUTS

Emerald Cocoa Roast Almonds Dark Chocolate (per ounce) 150 calories 12 g fat 6 g protein 6 g carbs 3 g fiber 1 g sugars.

Almonds are packed full of heart-healthy fats and antioxidants, which makes them perfect for staving off mid-afternoon hunger cravings. We especially love these almonds because they remind us of a Hershey almond bar, minus all the sugar. This is our new favorite way of doing crunches in the afternoon.

BEST ENERGY BAR

Lärabar Apple Pie (per bar) 180 calories 10 g fat 4 g protein 23 g carbs 4 g fiber
17 g sugars.

A great new twist on the mom-apple pie connection. Most energy and protein bars are polluted with sugar, making them more akin to a Snickers than to something you might actually want to snack on. But Lärabar ditches the synthetic sugars and fillers in favor of six simple ingredients: dates, walnuts, apples, almonds, raisins, and cinnamon. Wash it down with high-protein, high calcium Organic Valley Low Fat milk (another winner): Mom would definitely approve.

BEST FROZEN TREAT

Edy’s/Dreyer’s Slow Churned Vanilla with Crunch Bar (per bar) 150 calories 19 g carbs 8 g fat
10 g sugars.

We know what you’re thinking: “Ice cream bars are flat-belly foods?” Remember: People who don’t treat themselves to an occasional indulgence end up with an empty carton of ice cream on their laps at midnight. Part of getting lean and staying lean is picking relatively innocent indulgences that will satisfy your cravings without sabotaging your diet. Bonus: Bars also keep you from the “just one more bite” risk that the tub of ice cream will turn you into a tub, as well.

BEST PACKAGED COLD CUTS

Hormel Natural Choice Presliced Deli Meats (per 3 turkey slices) 50 calories 10 g protein 1 g carbs 1 g fat 0 g sugars.

Their turkey cold cuts are another tasty way to deliver protein. Hormel deli meats are 100-percent natural, as well as nitrate- and nitrite-free. Wrap a slice around a slice of Sargento Deli Style Aged Swiss for an all-star snack.

What is the Opposition up to?

The essence of the opposition, in any free and sovereign nation, is to check and balance the excesses of the powers-that-be. Not in this country, it seems. What we simply have, from the looks of it, is a noisy opposition that espouses so much rants against the administration. Yes, the opposition is quick to expose (with the aid of the media) the scams and anomalies under this administration, but it was never quite effective.

Some Quotable Quotes Spice Up the Powers-that-be!

Some quotable one-liners spice up specific eras in our nation’s history. For the most part, however, the more easily remembered one-liners are hardly complimentary. In fact, these often evoke memories of wrongdoings.

The classic “What are we in power for?” exudes all the arrogance of those who let the heady elixir of authority trump the responsibility of public service for which they were empowered. The origin of this is hazy but it was last used as a quote by a secretary of the Garcia administration. The quote came from a senator during the Quirino presidency. As this quote shows, false leadership was already in the Philippines in the 1950s and got worse with each succeeding government.

More recently, Joseph Estrada’s “weather-weather” (the Anglicized version of the vernacular “kanya-kanyang panahon lang iyan”) refers to the “franchise” of those in power to steal from the country’s coffers. The tragedy is that most, if not all, politicians think in these terms today. From a minority view in the 1950s, the truism that politics is the only Philippine business to be in has spread like an epidemic, becoming the standard since the 1990s until the present.

As such, it’s no surprise that the present administration has come to be known as the “pera-pera” era, to be remembered for the alleged bags of cash distributed as a matter of course in Malacañang to voracious supplicants as well as wavering loyalists. After all, the “it’s a numbers game” is the principle that guides this administration's efforts to gain and retain power. With this rule, bribing and being bribed have become so ordinary. In fact, it did not even spare a priest-on-leave or a ranking cardinal as bribery targets.

And what happens when crimes, including graft, kidnapping and even treason, are discovered? “I am sorry” is uttered with the sincerity of an iceberg, upon advice of bishops who are waiting for donations to the poor as the restitution for violations of the Seventh Commandment. Now, "I am sorry" for a wrong done, when discovered is not a monopoly of this administration. It was also used by Pres. Clinton when the media exposed his flirtations with a White House intern.

Can our "very free press" stand on guard for some emerging quotable quotes? Maybe they should. This is also part of the freedom of speech in this country.

(Reprinted with modifications from Inq.net)

Things we learned from the Pacquiao-Marquez fight

Manny Pacquiao won a split decision to claim Juan Manuel Marquez's WBC 130-pound title Saturday night (Sunday in Manila) in a sensational fight that left both men bleeding, battered and triumphant.

The highly anticipated rematch between Juan Manuel Marquez and Manny Pacquiao was supposed to answer one very specific question: who is the most dominant featherweight in boxing?

Now that it's over ... we still don't know. We only knew that Pacquiao won by a slight split decision and Marquez can stage a potentially strong come back.

Pacquiao escaped with a narrow split decision Saturday night (Sunday in Manila), taking advantage of a third-round knockdown to edge Marquez and capture the WBC super featherweight titles.

But was Pacquiao the better fighter? Well... a third encounter is really in order to see who's who in the featherweight division.

Certainly Pacquiao, who improved to 46-3-2, deserves credit. He once again showcased uncanny power for a 130-pounder (though by virtue of adding 16 pounds since Friday's weigh-in Pacquiao checked in at 145 pounds), flattening Marquez (48-4-1) in the third round with a short left hand.

Still, Marquez showed the same warrior-like mentality he showed in the first fight between the two, surviving the third and rebounding to win the majority of the remaining rounds.

So what did we learn from Marquez-Pacquiao II? Let's take a look:

1. Nothing

If you were looking for definitive answers, all you came away with were more questions. Few fighters could have withstood the sporadic onslaughts from Pacquiao, who connected on several left hands that would have KO'd any other featherweight in the division. Marquez also did not shy away from brawling with Pacquiao, connecting on a number of hard power shots of his own. At the same time, Pacquiao showed a more tactical side, using his right hand more than in the first fight and occasionally boxing with the technically superior Marquez. While both fighters efforted to fight their own fights they were clearly willing and able to alter their styles in the flow of the fight.

2. There needs to be a third fight

Will there be? That's the multi-million dollar question. After the fight, Pacquiao expressed a desire to move up to 135-pounds, while Marquez remains content to continue fighting at 130. Since little was decided in Part II, a third installment is required. And if Marquez wins the third fight, a fourth, deciding fight should be made.

3.Paquiao should be in no rush to move up

David Diaz? Nate Campbell? Jose Alfaro? Those are three of the recognized champions in the lightweight division, and each one carries about the same box office appeal. Not one of those fighters would be able to carry a lucrative pay-per-view and even a decisive victory wouldn't guarantee Pacquiao anything beyond a relatively meaningless title. If Pacquiao were willing to move up to junior welterweight, where he could get potentially lucrative fights with Ricky Hatton, Paul Malignaggi or even Floyd Mayweather, then he should consider leaving super featherweight. But with lightweight carrying the same cache as cruiserweight, he should be in no hurry to move up.

4. Practically speaking, the loss doesn't mean much to Marquez

Yes, Marquez was hoping a victory over Pacquiao would help him escape from the shadows of legendary Mexican champions Marco Antonio Barrera and Erik Morales -- and it would have. But if Pacquiao does make the jump to lightweight, Marquez immediately regains his spot as the top super featherweight. Undefeated Edwin Valero and Mzonke Fana currently hold titles, but they are not in the class of Marquez, who has re-established himself over the last two years. With Pacquiao gone, Marquez, 34, stands a strong chance at unifying the division.

5. Judging should be a job for the media

I probably won't get much support for this one, but the corruption that has plagued boxing begins with the judging. Marquez-Pacquiao II isn't a good example (two judges scored the fight 115-112 for Marquez and Pacquiao, respectively, while the third gave Pacquiao a 114-113 edge), but the boxing landscape is littered with questionable decisions.

I say put the judging in the hands of reputable boxing news organizations like ESPN, The New York Daily News and, yes, Sports Illustrated. Showtime already does press row scoring that, in general, is far more accurate than the judges. We might as well make it the real thing and hope that the world's sporting boxing bodies recognize this soon.

I know for certain that the boxing organizations can agree with this option but the Judges' Organizations would say otherwise because this is effectively removing their bread and butter from the boxing world. Well, then I say: "improve your craft gentlemen."

Where should education bring us?

This month is graduation time, and the country’s turn out of more or less 300,000 graduates each year is no small figure to talk about considering the ratio from among them that get employed, or better still, considering their employability both here and abroad.

The recent report on the deteriorating English proficiency among our graduates is no less alarming, not to mention the ever-rising unemployment rate due to the absence of viable jobs in the country.

This is one of the reasons why our graduates, especially of medical-related courses, train their eyes abroad for employment. It is no surprise that doctors, nurses and even midwives and physical therapists leave the country for good.

While this is the sad plight of our graduates, it is no issue that education is still the best hope for Filipinos to get even with our Asean neighbors. But certainly, something must be done to reconsider the present thrusts of our educational system and how it should go considering the inevitable need to globalize.

There is no question that education is the future for us, so it is needless to ask the question as the title below, rather, we should ask “Where should education bring us?”, to emphasize the fact that we should not only be made literate through education but that education should also lead us somewhere or towards a clearly defined path whose end is what the Philippines and Filipinos ought to be in the very near future.

This end should be achieved soonest because the fact is that it has been long overdue. It has been what the Philippine education should have been about two decades ago.

We have been mesmerized in awe by the fact that education has been getting the highest share from our national budget. True, but we have not asked how this budget compares with other ASEAN countries in terms of the GNP ratio.

The other point is, given our high literacy rate, that we had been so proud about, where should education focus at this point in time? What should be aptly considered by the public education sector, the private education sector, and the business sector? Where should each of these sectors focus their efforts on considering their expertise and what they can do better given the nature and scope of each of these institutions?

To understand this better, we shall feature an article by Mahar Mangahas, President and Founder of the famed Social Weather Station:

Social Weather Station

Will education be our future?

Sen. Edgardo J. Angara spoke on “Education is our future” at the Jaime V. Ongpin annual memorial lecture at the Ateneo de Manila University, Rockwell campus. I was a discussant of the lecture.

I said that I agree with almost everything Senator Angara said -- the global context, the general analysis, and certainly with the theme that education should be our future. (The only part I disagree with is on tax breaks for business. Business only needs them when projects do not promise a very high rate of return. When social returns are not well captured by business, projects are better done by non-business institutions.)

I said that education should already have been our present, if the call for a quantum leap in investments in science, technology, and innovation had already been heeded by the government two decades ago, when made by former University of the Philippines president Emanuel “Noel” Soriano, and others.

My question, “Will education be our future?” is really asking when will the government accept the responsibility, pay the cost, and follow the principles of global competition in undertaking the needed investment in education. In all countries, it is the public sector -- and not the private non-profit sector or the business sector -- that is responsible for the major part of elementary and high school education, graduate-school training, and research, in science. (Collegiate training is an area where private education can be dominant.)

Accept the cost. The first issue, the cost, is very well worth paying. Senator Angara’s norm of 1.0 percent of the gross national product (GNP) for research and development is the same as the one that Noel Soriano recommended long ago. On an annual GNP of P6.6 trillion (2006), 1.0 percent is P66 billion. But the Philippines is currently investing only one-tenth of 1.0 percent, i.e., P6 billion. Thus the immediate annual shortfall is P60 billion ($1.5 billion). When will the government commit to filling this financial gap? It isn’t too large. It isn’t enough to catch up with Singapore and Japan, which are investing 2+ percent and 3+ percent, respectively. It only serves for the Philippines not to fall further behind in the global race.

There is no investment without sacrifice. Increasing public investment requires raising the savings rate, and the tax rate, on the present generation and -- to the extent that investment is based on borrowings -- on future ones. Alternatively, funds for more R&D can be raised by reallocations away from other investments. For example, the P60 billion could be cut from annual national government spending on public works projects with a lower rate of return than the return on R & D. Perhaps the local governments should pay for those public works instead. And if no one can pay for them, then let us just do without them.

Pay people competitive rates. My second point is on government employment policy toward people in science. Education is a human-resource-intensive activity. Most of the people engaged in it are, and should be, government employees, not private employees. The fundamental way of mobilizing human beings is by offering attractive compensation for their work. When will the government accept the principle of paying globally competitive salaries for its own workers in science?

Such workers should be freed from the Salary Standardization Law. Their employers, such as the University of the Philippines (UP), should have authority to set their own internal salary scales. For that matter, the UP management should be free to set a salary scale for each field of specialization!

A serious push towards R&D entails mobilizing very many, very qualified, people very fast. We should think global, and recruit not only Filipinos but also all other nationalities, as do Singapore, Saudi Arabia, and, of course, the United States. Let us look for talented scientists from Africa, the Middle East, Eastern Europe, South Asia, Southeast Asia and Latin America who want to emigrate but are denied visas by Western countries for political reasons. Let us prioritize young and unmarried scientists, many of whom, through chemistry and biology, will naturally find Filipino partners. Let us give them family visas in order to encourage them to settle down here.

Involve private institutions. My third point is that the government should support research in private institutions also. Private universities cannot be expected to sustain research solely on the basis of tuition fees. Under market rules, tuition revenue will cover the costs of teaching time only, and not the costs of research time also.

Not more than half of a research professor’s time should be for teaching. The research time, particularly for basic research, should be funded by the government and philanthropic sectors. For instance, the National Science Foundation, the US government agency that supports fundamental research and education in all non-medical fields of science and engineering, funds both public and private research on the basis of competitive proposals -- an excellent case being its 1994 grant that led to the development of the search engine Google at Stanford University, which is private.

The whole world is competing for scientists. Education will be our future when the government invests at least P60 billion per year in it, pays market rates to people in science, and makes use of the entire research community. When will that be?

So what..? Even if Pres. Arroyo finishes her term or not!

Given all the scandals erupting around it, it would be wishful thinking to expect major improvements in governance during the remainder of the term of President Arroyo. It seems that the poor will not only remain with us while she continues to govern but they will continue to grow in numbers too.

The administration of President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo proudly touts the relatively high economic growth during its watch as if it were its crowning achievement. It never misses any opportunity to remind everyone that the rate of economic growth has been accelerating since 2001, allowing it to outperform previous administrations, while glossing over the fact that, except for last year when the Philippines posted a remarkable 7.3 growth in gross domestic product, it still was not keeping pace with its dynamic neighbors like Malaysia, Thailand and Brunei to name a few. And always the key question is: Who is benefiting from such growth? Why are the main streets in major cities teeming with hungry children and why are there sidewalks filled with homeless people?

By the government’s own statistics, the number of Filipinos who were poor grew by some 3.8 million over a period of three years, from 23.8 million in 2003 to 27.6 million in 2006. That means that almost one out of every three Filipinos (32.9 percent) is considered poor.

And that is not the last of the grim statistics. According to the same survey, the number of families that did not earn enough to buy the minimum amount of food they needed rose to 1.9 million in 2006 from 1.7 million in 2003. That means that 12.2 million Filipinos, or 14.6 percent of the population, were not eating enough or “food-poor.”

How did so many millions swell the ranks of the poor at a time when the economy was growing? Augusto Santos, acting director-general of the National Economic and Development Authority, said this was due to the higher prices of essential commodities and an “insufficient increase in personal income.” The first, he said, was partly caused by the expanded coverage and the increased rate of the value-added tax, while the second could be partly attributed to agricultural losses from two devastating supertyphoons that struck the country in 2006.

What Santos failed to mention was that despite sustained economic growth, real family incomes actually fell during the period not only because of higher prices but because economic growth was not high enough to improve family incomes as the population continued to grow at a fast pace. And the worse news is that there is little reason to hope that the war against poverty can be won anytime soon.

The Asian Development Bank, for one, says the country would be hard put to sustain last year’s record (for the past three decades, at least) 7.3-percent growth, which it said was largely driven by huge election spending. In its report, titled “Philippines: Critical Development Constraints,” the ADB identified three major factors that are bound to hamper economic growth. These are: (1) the government’s “tight” fiscal situation; (2) declining investments in infrastructure; and (3) lack of investor confidence because of corruption and political instability.

And what would it take to correct these constraints? Good governance. Checking graft and corruption and other government reforms will improve tax collection, ensure the proper use of government resources and enhance investor confidence.

It seems, these are not for this administration of Pres. Arroyo to achieve in the short term, given her remaining term of office, even if we assume that she tries very hard. A President who loses so much credibility in the face of scandals, mostly charges of graft and corruption, will find it hard to steer government back on track as different sectors of the society try to pull her down.

Good governance is not only the making of the highest official of the land but also of the different segments of society cooperating towards its attainment. Even if we assume that it is only Metro Manila's population that is loudly against her continued stay in power, people from the rest of the country would tend to believe what they hear and read most of the time as mouthed by media.

From what we have right now, where do we expect to go from here? Or more appropriately, given all these, what must a President do? Pres. Arroyo holds the moral answer to these questions.

Are there better things to expect yet in less than two years of the President's remaining term? Maybe none, maybe no more, but it would certainly be a little bit different if she gives up the presidency for good. The sooner, the better!

Tips on Writing a Graduation Speech

So, you've been assigned to give a graduation speech for your graduating college or high school class. Maybe you're the valedictorian or the class president, or an invited guest speaker, or maybe you're just lucky. Or perhaps you need to write a graduation speech for your public speaking class.

Most graduation speeches aren't really good. You know why? Because they're too generic. They talk about the future and "spreading your wings" and all kinds of cliche things that can apply to any graduating class. A good graduation speech should be tailored only for your graduating class. The speech should be unusable by other classes because it is filled with details and stories specific to these students' experiences.

Here are some tips to writing an unforgettable graduation speech:

Tell lots of stories. The stories should be about the students in the graduating class, the teachers, and other important people in the school. The stories can be funny, or touching, or just descriptive. The audience is filled with parents and people who are not part of the graduating class, so what you want to do is make that graduating class come alive for the people who aren't a part of it.

Talk about major events. What are some important things that happened in the world, your community, or at your school in the last four years? Include them in your speech, especially if these events evoke emotion. If a teacher or student died, mention them and say how much everyone misses them. If your football team won the state championship, mention this (and expect enthusiastic applause from the audience).

Talk about meaningful activities your class did together. Here's where you talk about the prom, Spirit Week, a successful charity event, the awesome school play, etc. If your school has some traditional events, mention them. Some of the audience members will be alumni and will appreciate this.

Talk about values that are important to the students and the audience. If this is a Christian school, talk about God. If this is a liberal arts college, talk about the value of a liberal arts education. Don't dwell on these kinds of topics or you risk sounding corny, but mentioning them will make your speech feel more inclusive to everyone.

Be inclusive. Talk about everyone in the class: the jocks, the band geeks, the Honor Society kids, and everyone else. This speech is for everybody.

Use popular culture references. This is a popular culture era, so including popular culture references is another thing you can do to make your speech more personal. Work in references to popular TV shows, movies, and songs. Just don't mention that Green Day song (see below).
Don't talk about yourself. Well, you can talk about yourself a little bit, but only a little. This speech is for everyone, and it isn't very classy to steal the focus.

Don't speak badly of anyone. This is not the time to make fun of that nasty English teacher, nor is it time to get even with that kid who bullied you from grades 3 through 10. Be nice. You can gently poke fun of quirky things, like that weird green stuff they serve every Thursday at the school cafeteria, or the fact that your dorms were voted worst in the country. But do this sparingly, and be careful not to offend anyone.

Be appropriate. Use common sense. This is not the forum to discuss the drunken antics of your classmates or other indiscretions. Don't swear.

Use inside jokes sparingly. Your classmates might appreciate inside jokes, but the audience won't know what you're talking about.

Avoid cliches. The phrases "spread your wings and fly," "new chapter in our lives," and "be true to yourself" should not appear in your speech, and neither should other cliches.

Give advice sparingly. Graduation speeches do not have to contain advice, and if you're part of the graduating class, you may not have much advice to give.

Thank the parents. Ask everyone in the graduating class to give them a round of applause. This will mean the world to them. Make your mom cry.

Thank the teachers. Lord knows teachers don't get enough praise. Thank the principal or the dean too.

Reading Jamju's mind . .

(Here is a man’s opinion on Mindanao and the Bangsamoro and related issues. He wields his mind and arguments ubiquitously in every space of taboan.net and impresses his eloquence upon everyone in that site – old and newcomers. He seems to have mastered his own kind of argument and brandishes them so skillfully – you would not know whether he is admirable, credible, annoying, a plain and simple skilled pauper, or all of the above.)

(Frankly, I can’t help but admire his eloquence, have mixed thoughts on his credibility and get annoyed in the end by how he tries to disprove every point you raise. That seems to be what he had defined for his existence and purpose in life. To help you know how this man’s mind runs.. here are some of his impervious remarks on some issues concerning Mindanao, the ARMM, the Bangsamoro, the Moro fronts as well as the Abu Sayyaf.. This man’s full name is Jamju Alano Rivera from Isabela, Basilan. It's for you to believe in him or otherwise get awefully amused by his verbal antics!)

These are what he says:

1. On the MILF’s clamor to restore the Peace Talks

Why force the issue? Why look to "solve" this impasse if the only solution in the minds of the MILF is the one that they have always insisted on all this time? The MILF has thrashed and cried and whined for a Bangsamoro Homeland (or a more euphemistically termed "Juridical Entity") like an infant bawling for its milk... ! Why is it that it should always be the Government of the Republic of the Philippines who should always give in? More precisely, why are all these talks being done above the heads of the Filipinos who live and work in Mindanao? What's with all the secrecy anyway? Can't they handle a public relations backlash once all these "talks" and "offers" are laid out for all to see and hear? Has the people of Mindanao (and I do mean the entire Mindanao...and not merely the gerrymandered Mindanao that the MILF proposes to be called their BJE) ever been asked about this?

I remember distinctly that several plebiscites and referenda were held and conducted... and the constant reply by Mindanaoans was and is a loud and emphatic "NO!" Why can't the MILF just accept this reality? Nagbibingi-bingihan ba?An why the arrogance of NOT RECOGNIZING THE CONSTITUTION? Well then... if that's the case, then these brigands...these criminals...shouldn't wonder any longer why WE WILL NEVER RECOGNIZE THEIR BOGUS CLAIMS OF SOVEREIGNTY OVER ANY PART OF MINDANAO!

Tit for tat. An eye for an eye. A tooth for a tooth.

Yes, you may add us up under that column which says: "HAWKS"... the stand of Mindanao's Business Sector on this issue is clear and incontrovertible: NO BANGSAMORO HOMELAND. NO MILF TREATY. NO FURTHER NEGOTIATIONS. These criminals should be rounded up like common law crooks and tried and incarcerated for the bandits that they truly are.Otherwise, these MILF bullies can always give up their guns, go back to their farms and businesses, make a good and legitimate living, pay their taxes, marry off and multiply their tribe. Wouldn't that be much simpler? Wouldn't that be a much better alternative?

Self-determination is not a destablizing concept IF AND ONLY IF it is determined by all the people in a particular community. Otherwise, self-determination is like 13 southern states seceding and calling themselves the CONFEDERATE STATES OF AMERICA all for the defense of a way of life based on one group being superior over another... what we're trying to point out here is... not all struggles for self-determination are right and correct just because some people think it is.And the one in Mindanao by the Moros alone...surely is not!

2. On his Wish List for Mindanao

(1) a true and genuine PEACE that involves the people of Mindanao first and foremost...let the MINDANAOANS decide on the best form of peace it wants for its own home...the National Government and the Organization of Islamic Countries should step back and listen to what WE, THE PEOPLE want for Mindanao;

(2) the abolition of the AUTONOMOUS REGION OF MUSLIM MINDANAO...which is the biggest legal form of government sanctioned corruption by petty warlords and local political kingpins;

(3) the abbrogation/nullification of all existing TREATIES, AGREEMENTS, COMMUNIQUE'S, etc. with the MNLF, MILF, CPP-NPA, and whatever other sham organization comes forward to claim the voice of Mindanao;

(4) the non-recognition of a BANGSAMORO HOMELAND...there is no such thing. There is a Philippine State. The Constitution of the Philippines must be above all other considerations. Territorial claims by indigenous minorities and other ethnic cultural groups is nothing but an illegitimate rush to grab lands from legally established Filipino land-owners;

(5) the opening of Mindanao to long-term foreign investments...WE WANT MORE TRADE, NOT AID...MINDANAO IS NEITHER CHRISTIAN NOR MUSLIM...IT IS FILIPINO!!!

3. On the Bangsamoro’s Claim for a Homeland

Yes, I agree there WAS such a thing as a Bangsamoro Homeland before Christian Settlers came over in the late 19th century till the early part of the 20th Century... WAS, because this Homeland that you speak of has gone the way of Prussia, Chou, Annam, Khmer, Assyria, Persia, Rome, and the Grand Empires of the Spanish, the Portuguese, the French, the British, Nazi Germany and the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics! IT DOES NOT EXIST NOW....THEY ALL DO NOT EXIST NOW. To insist that it does... that they all do... is probably a lesson taught by your History Professor, not mine.

ALSO ONLY PARTLY TRUE... because as much as Christian Filipinos migrated into Mindanao (up to the present...this internal movement of peoples has never really stopped...!) conversely, Muslim Filipinos were likewise migrating into Visayas and Luzon all at the same time! BEFORE, your Sultans ruled 80% of Mindanao... NOW, what piece of Mindanao do they rule? Going by your logic, sir...since your Sultans ruled 80% of Mindanao, and therefore that you basically own Mindanao in perpetuity... then are you likewise proposing that we return the rest of the Philippines to the Datus and the Rajahs that can be assumed to have ruled the rest of the islands before Magellan came to visit his Cebuano pal Lapu-Lapu? Oh well then, why stop there? Since the Datus and the Rajahs...and yes, even your Sultans, were preceded by a millennia of Aetas... then are you willing to give up your precious Homeland to the Aetas (from whom we've never heard a peep on about these "ancient" rights!)???Think about it sir...deeply... your forefathers may have come to Mindanao before my forefathers did... but even your ancestors weren't the first here... unless you yourself ARE IGNORANT OF YOUR COUNTRY'S HISTORY. Again, not my fault... probably your History Professor’s…again.

Besides, now that 80% of Mindanao is beyond the grasp of all your modern-day Sultans combined (i.e. Ampatuans, Akbars, Dimaporos, Tans, Loongs, Paglases, Macarambons, Datumanongs, Rasuls, etc.)... did you ever hear any of your Christian neighbors even sheepishly propose that this 80% be called an Autonomous Region in Christian Mindanao? Or worse... a Bansang Kristiyano Homeland??? NO!Why don’t we? Because we acknowledge the inherent strength that unity and understanding between peoples can bring to our nation... especially here in Mindanao. We do not want to keep Christian Filipinos and Muslim Filipinos separated by these ever widening rifts. We want these artificial borders between the Christians and the Muslims to be totally erased from the map. Its a reverse APARTHEID SYSTEM which we do not wish to be institutionalized any further than it already has. We want all Christian and Muslim Filipinos to learn the beauty of living together harmoniously without too much of the excess baggage of the past which, we admit, has been equally violent on both sides. The debate on whether or not we should have a Federal State in Mindanao is heartily accepted… we actually support the idea as well… but please, YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY RIGHT WHATSOEVER TO CALL IT MUSLIM… as much as we never even dreamed of calling it Christian or Lumad or Buddhist or Animist or Agnostic or Atheist! Nor should it be called a homeland of the Moros alone… as much as we would not wish to call it a Federal State of Visayans, Tagalogs, Ilocanos and Ilonggos (who are clearly the majority in Mindanao’s population now!) alone as well.So we insist that there is no Bangsamoro Homeland as much as there is no Christian Homeland in Mindanao today. Again, our stand is, and it remains: Mindanao is neither Christian nor Muslim...it is Filipino.

Who says that we should be thankful that they (the Muslims) are claiming only a very small portion of Mindanao. We should be thankful indeed that the MILF is blackmailing the sovereign Philippine State into accepting a Bangsamoro Homeland carved out of its sovereign territory? Thankful why? Because otherwise, if we insist on not recognizing this bogus homeland of theirs, all hell will break loose? We should be thankful that the MILF, just like the MNLF, and just like the Abu Sayyaf...are asking for just a very small portion of Mindanao in exchange for Peace of Mind? In legal jurisprudence...sir...I'm sorry to say it as it should be said... but this is called EXTORTION. In street lingo... we call it a HOLD UP... !

They want something, sir... they go on ahead and offer something for it... they buy it... exactly like what my grandparents did when they BOUGHT the lands that this homeland of for the Moros is claiming to encompass right now. They want something? They shouldn't take it for free… claiming some divine intervention in the distant past awarded these lands to them in some Biblical passage akin to Israel’s being given, by Divine fiat, to Moses’ descendants...!The problem with your arguments sir...is that you want US to respect people who do not even care to reciprocate the respect that they so noisily demand! Respect the laws of the land first and they shall earn the respect of law-abiding citizens everywhere. They cannot demand respect when they themselves do not respect the legal systems that the State upholds...as enshrined in our Constitution...and as protected by our Republic and its duly constituted institutions. Respect the MILF? Respect the MNLF? Respect the Abu Sayyaf? Respect their reasons for making so much trouble in these last four decades? Sir, you ask too much!And then the temerity to raise that oft-repeated mantra that Christian Settlers are "LAND GRABBERS"?

Let me ask you sir... And I do hope I do not prick your sensibilities with my questioning... but, what of the Muslim Filipinos who live and work and own lands in Luzon and Visayas? What of them? Are they land grabbers as well? I do not believe us ever calling them that. They may not be as numerous but they are there... vital members of Phiippine society, brave, valiant, and proud of their heritage as much as the next Ilocano, Pampango, Bicolano, Bisaya, Ilonggo, Waray and Tagalog! And we are happy and grateful to live our lives with them as or neighbors and friends and family.And yet, according to your own flawed logic, only the Filipino settlers in Mindanao, professing a religion other than yours, should be considered LAND GRABBERS. This has always been the separatist movement's guiding principle, has it? Misuari was mouthing this as early as his UP days. Hashim Salamat also. And Abdurajak Janjalani. Even some of the most exalted Muslim Senators, Legislators and Local Executives have perpetuated this fantastic MYTH that the Moros own Mindanao...and that we are nothing more than unwanted guests.

But really sir, by your own admission that the first owners are the rightful owners...then only the Aetas actually have the real right to even call anyone land grabbers. Not you! So, unless you are an Aeta sir... your calling my forefathers land grabbers is simply the height of arrogance and/or ignorance (whichever way you might wish to put it...sir.), again...an issue that you must really take up with your History Professor."Your forefathers do not own a square inch of land in Mindanao. These lands were tilled by Muslims and the Lumads before your grandparents came.

"TRUE!!! Alas...my forefathers do not own a square inch of land in Mindanao! I Agree. Why? Because they are all dead. The legal system simply does not allow dead people to claim ownership over lands in Mindanao or elsewhere in the Philippines for that matter. Yes, these lands were tilled by Muslims and Lumads before my grandparents came... but just like my industrious and innovative and law-abiding grandparents... your grandparents and the grandparents of the lumads are all equally DEAD. Just as much as your Bangsamoro Homeland IS DEAD. Just as much as the great empires of the Incas and the Aztecs of the Americas ARE DEAD. And the Kingdoms and Principalities that used to make up modern-day Europe ARE ALL DEAD. You get my drift?We own pieces of land in Mindanao because our OCTs and TCTs say so. You can go as far as the International Court of Justice at The Hague... and you will find the same answer, sir. Moreover, our Land Titles are guaranteed and protected by the sovereign Republic of the Philippines... NOT by your mythical Bangsamoro Homeland...Besides, my gardener makes my garden all tidy and pretty... but it still doesn't make him the owner of my yard... unless of course, he buys it from me.

So my grandparents came and bought land from your grandparents... whatever reasons your grandparents may have had in selling this land that they only "claimed" to be theirs in the first place, is an issue wholly between you and your grandparents. Why your grandparents refused to have your vast "ancestral lands" properly titled and registered and taxed... is something that you must make extra effort to find out for yourselves. Your grandparents sell my grandparents a pot of land and after the day they all die you simply come out of the woodwork and claim that my grandparents stole this pot from your family...! That's a cheapshot. That's just plain and simple delusional. That's like Imelda Marcos claiming that she and her family owns one half of the Philippines! Did you ever realize how many millions around the world guffawed at her over such a dubious claim?After Mindanao, will you go on ahead and lawyer for the descendants of Raha Sulayman and Lakandula and Raha Humabon and Raha Matanda... claiming Metropolitan Manila and Cebu for your clients as well?

Finally, I say this... those who refuse to know and appreciate the realities of the present should bring their case to the courts and kingdoms of the past (if they still exist!)... and seek judgment in a past that they must first resurrect ... yes, history records a lot of things ... and its pages are littered by records of fallen kingdoms, lost empires, defeated principalities, abolished shogunates, eliminated reichs, false gods, faiths and prophets, numerous experiments in human society ... and the common thread running through each and every story is one and the same ... that they are all a part of history... HISTORY.

But you have the choice to see past these discombobulating contortions in your understanding of the world if you really wish to get past your own prejudices. If you will just accede to the realities of the present and say, finally: “Whatever we had before, we do not have now... but what we could have in the future is a far greater alternative than the past” ... that is: a united people, blind to the differences of religion, culture, race and origin... ONE UNITED PEOPLE. ONE STRONG NATION! NOT CHRISTIAN...NOR MORO...BUT FILIPINO. I see absolutely nothing wrong with that, do you?

4. On the Abolition of the ARMM

No, sir... abolish the ARMM not merely because it is corrupt... abolish the ARMM because the whole premise of establishing it is inherently wrong... it should not exist even if it was not corrupt.The fact that IT IS CORRUPT is just a case of "I told you so".

Who asked that ethnic lines be drawn to divide us in the first place? By calling this mythical homeland 'Bangsamoro'... by naming your autonomous region a 'Muslim Mindanao' region... who drew the first line? It all used to be just Mindanao.We only aim to erase these artificial dividing lines "imposed" on all of us in Mindanao. We should stop calling each other Christian or Muslim or Lumad... just as much as Americans should stop calling their citizens Whites, Blacks and Latinos... our worldview dictates that we all start calling ourselves simply, FILIPINOS. That's it. No more, no less.

Lastly, we agree with you wholeheartedly that all Good Mindanaoans should work to vanquish all Bad Mindanaoans, once and for all. We too, believe that we are all inherently GOOD. On this thought, we support you completely, and we are willing to work hand in hand with you on efforts that will bring about this great reawakening.